Have I Been Guilty of This?

My apologies for the late posting.  I had a different topic in mind, and then the inspiration for this article showed up in my Facebook newsfeed.

Earlier today, a member of my family shared a blog written by Matt Walsh. I’d never come across one of his blog posts before (I must have been living under a rock or something) and wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I clicked the link. What I read left me pleasantly surprised, even if it did make me ask some hard questions of myself.

The link to the article:  Your husband doesn’t have to earn your respect.

If you haven’t read it, please do check it out!

The very basic summary of his article is that our husbands do not have to earn our respect. They should not have to earn something that they outright deserve, and I have to say, I’m in complete agreement.

But…(there’s always a but isn’t there?)

After I finished reading the article, I couldn’t help but ask myself if I have ever been guilty of some of the things he mentioned? How many times have I rolled my eyes at my husband? Called him a name, even in jest? How often have I nagged, belittled or ignored him? Worse yet, how often have I done these things in front of our children? Have I ever, in our almost 15 years of marriage, made him feel that he does not have my full respect and admiration?

Hard questions, to be sure, and if I am completely honest with myself, then the answer is going to be yes. The obvious next question is:  What am I modeling for my children?

I want my sons to grow up to marry women that will love them and treat them with respect, not women who will emasculate them and treat them like buffoons.  I want my daughter to marry a man that loves and respects her, a man she loves and respects in return. For that to happen, my husband and I must show them what that looks like. Where else are they going to learn? They certainly won’t learn what it looks like from television, where men are most portrayed as cheaters, womanizers, abusers and/or idiots.

Even more important than the lessons we model for our children are these men that we have chosen to commit our lives to. I chose this man that God put into my path, and I thank Him every day for my husband. I was at a very low point when I met my husband, and I believe with all of my heart that he saved my life. It has been a joke between us that he is my knight in tarnished armor.

Why would I ever want to treat him with anything but respect?

 

 

Posted in Marriage | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

A Sisyphean Task

eco-laundry010

Or…the ever dreaded laundry day.

In a perfect world, I would have a washer/dryer connection in my home, my older children would do their own laundry and I would never have to step foot inside another laundry mat again.  Ever. In. Life.  Alas, this is not a perfect world, and I don’t have a washer and dryer at home.

Thursdays are laundry days in our house.  At least, they’re supposed to be.  With seven people living in our small house, I really need to discipline myself to stay on top of this necessary task.  But I don’t.  Most of the time, I put it off until three weeks have gone by and my kids are screaming they’re out of underwear and my husband is out of uniforms and socks.

Oops.

It’s not even the actual washing, drying and folding part of doing laundry that I hate.  It’s the loading baskets into the van, unloading them from the van, finding washers, fighting for dryers and then loading them back into the van just to unload them again at home part that I hate hate hate.  Mostly it’s the fighting for dryers part that gets to me.  People get territorial over machines at the laundry mat, whether they have clothes in them or not!

Laundry is not new. Mothers across time have lamented the woes of washing clothes. From the times of beating clothes on rocks and then washing them in the river to today’s most technologically advanced machines, we have been reminding our men and kids to keep their dirty laundry picked up off the floor and sweating through the task of keeping clothes clean. It is one job that never gets done.  It doesn’t matter how hard or long we work at it.  We wake up the next morning and BAM! More laundry. It’s just like rolling a huge boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down once we’re near the top. It literally never ends.

I vote for nudity ALL the time! Just think of it…no dirty undies and pants littering the floor. No shirts left hanging on doorknobs because…”Mooom, I planned on wearing that again tomorrow!” No socks that look like they just might get up and walk away. All nudity, all the time. Just human bodies in all of their splendid glory.

Wait.

Okay, maybe that’s not such a good idea. Besides, we’d still have linen, towels, cleaning rags and things like that to wash.

Dang.  I was almost on to something there. What about you?  Anyone out there have any creative solutions to the laundry/laundry mat dilemma? Or even just a funny laundry story you want to share?

 

Posted in Housekeeping | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Not a Huge Fan

We all have a word or phrase that we use often, perhaps a little too often.  For my 22 year old daughter, that word is ‘evidently’.  My 14 year old daughter has entered the ‘did you know’ phase and begins almost every random fact presentation with those three little words.  My 11 year old son has been known to use the word ‘technically’ quite a bit.  My 6 year old son, well he just likes words and uses them.

A lot.

These words and phrases aren’t so bad, in the grand scheme of things.  They do not provoke the eye-twitching, knee-jerk response that others do. You know that response I’m talking about.  It’s kind of like when you hear someone drag their fingernails across a chalkboard.  Yep.  Most of us have a word or phrase that are like nails on a chalkboard when we hear them.  (Forgive me if the phrase ‘nails on a chalkboard’ is yours!)

For my mother, that phrase is ‘failure is not an option’, and I understand completely where she’s coming from.  Failure is what makes it possible for us to truly appreciate and enjoy the successes in our lives.  Failure offers us opportunity to learn and grow.  Of course, failure is an option.  It’s just not the preferred option.

My darling husband’s pet peeve phrase is ‘I have a plan’, which just so happens to be a phrase I use more often than I should.  I don’t know if it grates on his nerves so much as it evokes a feeling of intense fear that makes him want to curl up into the fetal position and suck his thumb.  Funny thing is, he only has this reaction to the phrase when use it.  Hmm, something for me to think about.

There is one word and one phrase that really get under my skin:  ‘nothing’ and ‘not a huge fan’.  I have a teen and tween.  I get ‘nothing’ as a response to questions like: What are you doing?  What’s wrong?  What are your thoughts on…? For instance, my 14 year old came out of the bedroom today looking like she was about to fall over:

What’s wrong?

Nothing.

That’s not the face of nothing. 

You know that feeling you get when you stand up way too fast?

Aha!  I knew it wasn’t ‘nothing’!  Well, why didn’t you just say you stood up to fast?!

Anyway, moving on.

The phrase ‘not a huge fan’ has become a big contender on my pet peeves list.  Mainly, this is because whenever my children use this phrase, it is to inform me that they don’t like a particular food I’ve made. So, “I’m not a huge fan of (insert offending food item here)” is enough to make my eye-twitch and my teeth grind. It’s gotten to the point that I’m ready to set up a “word jar”, my version of the “swear jar” and force the kids to pay up a quarter every time they use an offending word or phrase.

So what about you?  What words or phrases really set you off and make you wish you could ban them from vocabulary until the end of time?

 

Posted in Children, Miscellaneous | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

A Short Introduction

Hello and welcome!  My name is Tabitha. I’m new to blogging, but I’m not new to life and writing.  If you’d like a quick look at who I am, then check me out.  Granted, it’s likely to undergo an overhaul here and there as time goes on. But for now, it’s a pretty good short summary of me.

What It’s All About:

I have always believed that life is an imperfect journey of trying, failing and succeeding.  We are constantly learning, constantly changing, and we were never meant to make this journey alone.  A sampling of the subject matter that will be covered over the next few months include dealing with getting healthy, raising children of different ages, marriage and life after addiction.

What It’s Not:

This blog is not meant to serve as an end all, be all authority on any particular subject. I am not a licensed professional and the articles written here are not a “how to” guide to life.  If you’re looking for answers to a specific problem or situation, do your research.  Do not take anything written in the articles on my blog as the final word on any subject!

My goal is to offer my own experiences, observations and opinions to encourage, entertain, amuse and inform those who choose to read the articles I write.  My hope is that you will enjoy my offerings, pass them on when you feel like they might speak to someone you know and come back for more later!

What You Can Expect:

New articles will be posted twice a week.  You can expect them to be published on Tuesdays and Fridays each week.  Each article will be placed into one of the categories that have been set up for easy sorting as the number of posted articles increases.

Comments are welcomed and appreciated! Please feel free to leave a comment whether you agree with something I’ve written or not, or if you just want to offer your own perspective or experiences.  Comments will be moderated and those that are aggressively argumentative or offensive will be removed.

If you have questions or want to offer some feedback, then please feel free to contact me. Messages will be read and responded to (as necessary) at least three times a week.

Thank you for taking the time to read this introductory article.  I am looking forward sharing my Imperfections in Progress with you!

~Tabitha

Posted in Miscellaneous | Tagged , , | 4 Comments